mama........

I miss you so much mom. I have been doin pretty good with you being gone. But for some reason today, I am not. I miss you. I want you here. I need you here. My heart aches and screams for my mommy. I don't know what to do with out you. You were my rock. my best friend. My everything. i miss you. Everything is so messed up. Leslie won't talk to me again. I have no idea what I did. Dad is so lonely, mom. He misses yo so much. He is having a hard time. Ernie isn't helping dad with anything. Lisa isn't around.  Our sweet Alexis is turning 10 tomorrow. Can you believe it? 10. Holy shit. She is growing up so fast. She even has boobs now. You can't really be gone. I still need you here. We still need you here. I feel a breakdown coming. Why didn't you tell us you were sick? We deserved to know. You left us with no warning. You didn't even have a will or anything. What were you expecting us to do? I didn't get to say good bye.